Jewish-Asian Marriages: What you need to know

wedding of a Jew and an Asian with flowers

For ages, marrying someone outside your synagogue was unimaginable among Jews. Generations of Jews have fought against the stigma of having to marry into their religion and ethnicity.

As of the 2000s, a new trend arose. Ditching the tribalism and the outdated rules, Jews started out marrying helped greatly by online resources like Asian Dating Site Reviews. By estimate, 63% out married, and only 37% intermarried Jews! A fair share of the Jews’ mixed marriages is to Asians. On the other side, 18% of Asian out marriages is to Jews.

This brought up so many questions.

How do these households function? Do they abandon Judaism? Are their children the new Jew-Asian race?

Prejudice and bigotry

As children of immigrants, Jews and Asians face bigotry from a young age. Their families are conservative, strict, and full of stereotypes.

For a Jew to even date someone that is not Jewish was a scandal enough.

For Jewish parents, the main problem was that everyone could see that Asians aren’t Jewish. Their physical appearance is a dead giveaway.

With times changing, they struggled to become more open-minded towards mixed marriages. Embracing their children’s choices was not an easy task. Many still disapprove of their children marrying a non-Jewish partner.

Religion

The families’ obsession with religion had some adverse effects. A large share of Jewish millennials identifies themselves as having no faith.

For centuries Jews endured torture to renounce their heritage and religion. Their ancestors’ suffering made them overprotective. This led to them disapproving of their children’s dismissing traditions.

There was an eye-opening moment that brought together Jews and Asians closer. It was the ordinal of the first Asian American rabbi in 2014.

Angela Buchdahl is of Jewish and Asian ancestors and practices as a rabbi in a New York synagogue. It was an example of how a Jewish and Asian family can create successful Jewish children.

Converting is not obligatory in most Jew-Asian marriages.

Both partners continue to support their individual religious beliefs. It’s conflict-free since often their religions share a similar set of values.

Homelife

Everyone is curious about how a Jew-Asian household functions on the inside.

Judaism shapes the home life of these mixed couples. Non-converted Asian Americans have no problem with practicing Judaism inside their homes.

The weekly Jewish traditions are part of their life. Jew-Asian households respect Sabbath dinners and cook Kosher meals.

This doesn’t come as a surprise since we are aware of the Asian admiration of Jewish tradition and culture.

Child upbringing

There is one inevitable question when it comes to children of mixed marriages. Which religion do the children take?

Hard-core Jews would say that mixed marriages don’t produce Jewish children.

In Jew-Asian households, the parents try to expose their children to every aspect of both religions and cultures. The more significant share of the Jew-Asian households raises their children Jewish.

But how and why do non-converted Asians raise Jewish kids?

The Jewish community offers far more resources for educating children about their religion. There are places to practice Judaism outside their home, like synagogues, day schools, and community centers.

The Asian community falls back on resources about catholicism.

Later in life, Jew-Asian children identify as multiracial individuals. They do a great job of beating the stereotype of Jews being white.

How Jew-Asian romance was born and took over

Asian Jewish Marriage attire

Dating within the same culture, race, and religion is undemanding. But with migration peaking in the last century, ethnical and racial purity became history.

One combination attracted attention amongst the public – the Jewish and Asian American romance.

Both equally important and influential minorities brought together.

The media we consume shapes our dating landscape. For a while, there is a fixation on Asian women. Asian women are the second choice for white men after white women. They are often fetishized and referred to as exotic.

Facebook owner Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan’s marriage put a spotlight on Jew-Asian power couples.

What makes Jews and Asians the perfect match?

Or, more importantly, what is the glue that holds them together?

Education

A fair share of the Jew-Asian couples would tell you that they met at college or graduate school.

Such an attitude doesn’t come as a surprise, knowing that both minorities are eager for knowledge. Their mutual interest in education brings them in the same surrounding. After all, we still refer to them as “people of the book.”

As immigrants, they often had to work harder to prove themselves at school or in the community. Jews, as well as Asians, are stringent and competitive when it comes to grades and higher education.

Knowledge helps them blend flawlessly into the corporate world.

Family bonds

The foundation of this romance lies in their mutual sense of commitment.

Jews and Asians come from traditional, close-knit families.

Family pressure and emotional manipulation by the parents are well familiar with both sides.

Both families keep their children close and want them to respect their traditions. But Jews take it a step further.

Jews are more confident in their religion. During their upbringing, Jews spend quality time learning and practicing their faith.

Asian Americans as children of immigrants learn to assimilate at a young age. Most of them don’t speak their parents’ language. Asian heritage is often the one that suffers neglect in these relationships.

Work and Finance

Jews and Asians are both intellectual, witty, and have a great sense of humor.

Among Jew-Asian couples, one of the things that attract attention is their equality.

There is minimal to zero difference in income and education. Even with the pay gap between men and women, Jewish and Asian American couples do the same. Both partners hold at least a bachelor’s degree.

Jews are well known for their sixth sense for finance and business.

But don’t undermine Asians. They went from laborers of the lowest wage to out-earning every white household!

Asians and Jews are success-driven and go that extra mile with everything they do.

Food

Eating Chinese food at Christmas sounds depressing if you are a Christian.

For Jews eating Chinese food for Christmas is a decades-old tradition even though they don’t celebrate Christmas.

From where did this come?

Convenience is one part of it. On Christmas Eve, when nothing is open, Chinese restaurants are here to welcome Jews.

The two most significant non-Christian minorities in America support each other even food vise.

Chinese cuisine is the one non-Jewish cuisine closest to Kosher. They don’t use dairy, unlike Italian or Mexican cuisine.

China is a significant contributor to the Kosher market. In an attempt to adjust to the substantial demand, as much as 500 food factories in China went Kosher.

What brought together the Jews and Asians is their ability to comprehend each other.

Coming from a similar background full of struggle made them daring and successful.

No matter how different they might look, they share the same modesty and family morals.

They brought their strengths together to fight tribalism for their love. And they succeeded!

Intermarriage between Jews and Asians- is it a major concern?

There is lots of intermarriage happening in the Jewish community nowadays. Six out of ten Jews marry a non-Jewish partner, and such a situation is dire. To say, marriage between Jews and Asians is now becoming a trend. Faced with Jews and Asian intermarriage concerns, Jewish scholars are now ready to make concessions. In such cases, children are the primary concern as they can face identity issues. For example, if the mother is Korean and wants to celebrate Christmas, the question should be debated before marriage. To what extent does the mother want to follow the tradition of Christmas? Is she agreeable to the fact that the children follow all that is Jewish for the rest of the year?

An Asian guy kissing a Jewish girl

Jews and Asian cultures are very ancient, and they have many similar values ingrained in their cultures like deep family ties and educational achievement. The barriers are minimal compared to other religions like those of Americans.

Jewish identity, however, flows through maternal lines. So, a non-Jewish man should marry a Jewish woman, not vice-versa. However, such a scenario is not possible in all cases. People look upon the children of a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother to be not entirely Jews even in their outside appearance. Such issues have to be addressed by the Jewish community to help the children flourish in a healthy environment. After all, if these children are from a Jew father and attend and go to Jewish schools.

You want to make sure that you bring your children to the mikvah for conversion. That way, you are sure that the child will follow and abide by the Jews culture. In a survey, the found out that 57% of children from intermarried parents identify themselves as Jews. A young Jewish man is looking for girls to whom they are attracted instead of just getting married within the Jewish religion.

We will soon be coming up with more Asian-Jewish dating news in our upcoming posts!